The Secret to Children Thriving and Mom Surviving
Raising young children isn’t for the faint of heart. If you’re not struggling, then you’re not breathing. Don’t buy those perfect lives the #momsofinstragram are selling. You know what I’m talking about. Doesn’t look like your life, right?
The secret to happy children, a happy mom, and a happy home is not perfectly matched outfits and incredible lighting. No, the secret is a schedule!
Moms are wired to attend to every need of their child. We learn to interpret their cries, read their body language, or sometimes just decide for them, “yes, you’re going to bed!” We can become so responsive that we look up one day and find we’re living their schedule and life feels out of control and chaotic.
Science continues to prove children need a schedule. If you hang around a daycare or preschool, you’ll see they have a schedule. They have it because it works! Children aren’t eating whenever they want and they lay down after lunch whether they want to or not. Young children may fuss with structure but they are less anxious and fussy over time because the predictability is calming.
Do you let your child set their own schedule? Getting up and eating whenever? Do they sit down to eat or walk around and graze? How about TV all day? Toys scattered everywhere without any organization? Napping whenever? You get the picture.
While your child will fuss and whine about the schedule, a mom who knows what’s best for the child and herself will make and keep a schedule. You sit them in the high chair for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You do not allow them to graze on snacks and juice during the day and then wonder why they don’t eat a meal. You make them rest at the same time every day. You greatly restrict access to electronics (science shows the blue light emitted from screens is disruptive to sleep).
Yes, there will always be times when you can’t keep the schedule, such as when children are ill or you have appointments that can’t be worked around the schedule. However, these should not be regularly occurring things.
While each home runs differently, find a schedule that works for you. Start out with a plan and tinker to make it work. Expect it to take a few weeks for your child to realize Mom is going to keep the schedule, no matter how big a tantrum is thrown.
Things to include in each day’s schedule:
- reading physical books together (right before sleep times are great)
- eating meals and snacks sitting at a table or highchair (here’s a cute video showing how family mealtime improves manners and verbal skills)
- play outside with other children
- coloring, painting, crafting, playdough
- naps or quiet time
Structure and predictable schedules that incorporate regular meal and bedtimes PLUS lots of outside physical activity allow children to thrive and when the children thrive, mom survives!
Do you have a routine? If so, which part of the day is most difficult?
(Photo from Adobe)
The Conversation
I’m working on a new schedule for mine now. Today was day one and it was hard but I know it’s best. Little to no tv. I have 3 boys and it seems all they want to do is rough house instead of play sometimes 😫
Hi, Ashley! While my two sons are adults now, I have never forgotten the days you are currently living. Yes, it’s hard when they’re so active! We were fortunate to have a fenced back yard with a sandbox and a fort with lots of climbing and swings. On the days I wasn’t working, they went outside morning and afternoon for as much time as possible —hours, sometimes. I supervised from the kitchen window or out front from the driveway. I found the online games increased my sons’ aggression and anger. They were happier when they were off the screens and playing with blocks, trains, or outside. As an aside, roughhousing is play for many children and, while it can get out of hand, it is actually healthy. Thank you for sharing as I’m confident many more are in your boat!
Thank you for replying!! When the weather is nice they play outside all day 🙂
That sounds great! Your boys have a wonderful mom!